Wale Ojo-Lanre Esq
World Women’s Day!
And what, exactly, is so special about these so-called women?
Rubbish souls !
Yes.
Of all the things in this world
Of all the wonders, the marvels, the greatness—
The global mind has nothing better to celebrate than… women?
Oh! Women, my feet!
Shameless beings!
The weakest vessels!
Rubbish souls!
Bad dreams!
Agbakos!
Awon eni ajiri!
Awon eni ajiko!
(A wretched breed, carriers of misfortune—unfit to be associated with!)
Women!
Wo-men?
Woe unto women?
Yes.
I just don’t know why God created women.
Maybe you do.
How I wish God could kill them all.
Forget that I am a product of a woman.
But still, I cannot fathom the sins of women—
All of them.
What have they done Amiss?.
Being a woman, to me, is a mistake.
Walahi, a big mistake.
Perhaps, in another realm, in another sane plane, things are different.
But here, in Africa, women are just nothing.
Hence, I have vowed—
Never.
I mean, never—
To return to this Earth as a lady.
Never.
I’d rather come back as a car tire.
Or not come back at all.
A typical woman is a beast of burden.
Nwon nje pelebe iya, walahi!
Look at me now—
Woke up at 6 a.m.
Yes, I am in Ibadan,
Not in the mad city of Lagos.
Yet, this woman—
This woman abandoned me in bed since 4:30 a.m.,
Running around, doing chores, ensuring everything is set.
Of course, my food must be ready before she leaves for work.
Women are the pillars.
Yes—
The pillars of the home.
And God knew what they would bear on Earth,
So He built them stronger than men.
God used mud to construct men—
Hence, they are weak.
They cannot keep secrets.
Under small pressure, they break.
Easily provoked, easily shaken,
Men are filled with jealousy,
Simply because they are made of sand—
Sand that dissolves at the mere touch of water.
But women—
Women are built of bone.
Strong bones.
Not just any bone,
But the hardest part of a man—
His side, the structure that reinforces and stabilizes him.
Women are the true assets.
Without women, the world would be unlivable.
I bow to God.
I respect women.
Those who secrete life every month.
Those who recreate and reproduce self.
Those who sing lullabies in the dead of the night.
The mothers with the longest shawl, covering all in love and care.
I dare not offend you.
I dare not humiliate you.
Neither will I ridicule you by day,
Nor flout your laws by night.
I praise the Almighty.
I salute you, women.
May you live long,
To care for your husbands in old age,
To nurture your children,
To eat the fruits of your labor,
Even after your aged husbands depart.
Long may you live.
Don’t mind me—
I wrote this after demolishing a bowl of pounded yam,
Drenched in iru-infested soup,
Lovingly prepared before 5:30 a.m.—
By a woman.
Wow unto Women
God bless you all
Happy Women’s Day!
Signed,
Wale Ojo-Lanre Esq
Ibipeju Oniru Chamber
Upper Ogudu River
Irede Estate
Usi Ekiti